Other’s “Unasked For” Opinions…What Do You Think

Unasked for Advise – 719woman.com

I was recently at a party and had an acquaintance tell me that my website would be “more popular,” or get more hits  if I were more controversial, edgy, or made my personal beliefs better known. I asked specifically what they were talking about and was told I should do more stories on religion, politics, current events, etc. A story idea that was suggested I write about?…” How illegal immigrants costs U.S. taxpayers so much more money.” A few more story ideas he thought I should focus on? Abortion, legal marijuana, and gun control.

I asked, “Have you been to my website?”

“No, but so and so told me about it and it seems like it would be kind of boring without some controversy. That’s what people want these days,” I was told.

My first inclination was to “defend” my site, explain that it was about living a great life on a budget; regardless of age, sex, or religious/political beliefs but then simply muttered,” thanks for your input,” and casually walked away. My second inclination was to tell him his opinion really didn’t matter to me, I hadn’t asked for his thoughts, and that I thought he was an arrogant jerk but I  kept MY opinion to myself. My third inclination was to tell him my personal beliefs were personal and shared with those I chose to share them with. And as I walked away, my last inclination was to turn around and smack him…but of course I didn’t. Hmm, maybe that would have made for a more “edgy” post?

I’m sure I’m not the only person who gets unasked for opinions or suggestions on anything and everything, sometimes from complete strangers.

At a baby shower I heard several women tell a friend that she SHOULD use cloth diapers and that if she didn’t breast feed, she’d be depriving her baby. (She was planning on breast-feeding already but they didn’t know that before telling her what would be best for HER baby.)

Another friend, who has long, thick (and I think beautiful,) hair and is naturally well-endowed had this conversation recently with a couple of women…”Doesn’t all that hair on your head give you headaches?” Another jumped in and said, “I wouldn’t worry about the hair, I would imagine the back pain is worse with your ‘chesticles.'”

My friend asked, “Since when did it become appropriate to talk about people’s private anatomy? Why do people bother me about what is on MY body?” Why do others think they can ever comment on another’s appearance to that person, when your opinion hasn’t been asked for?

Last week I was at a grocery store and saw a woman about to put some meat in her shopping cart and I mentioned to her that another grocery store that’s literally a couple of blocks away had the same product on sale that day for half the price. She put the meat back and thanked me. As I was checking out, the woman behind me had on a really cute dress that looked great on her. I said, “I love your dress, it really looks great on you.” She smiled and thanked me.

Oh no! Had I just done the unsolicited comment giving thing?

Is there a difference between a compliment and an opinion or even a comment? I read a definition of a comment versus an opinion as being, “A comment is a remark used to express an opinion or reaction, whereas a compliment is used to express praise, commendation, or admiration.” I personally love an honest compliment. The other day I had 3 people at 3 different locations compliment my shoes and it made me feel nice and want to wear those shoes more often. Sometimes I truly do want an opinion, like when I’m dress shopping and go with a friend because I trust her opinion. If she tells me it doesn’t look really fabulous, I put it back on the rack and don’t get mad at her because I ASKED.

There’s  always been “those people” who freely give unsolicited opinions, sometimes very vocally, but doesn’t it seem like you run into them more often these days? I personally believe some of that stems from the fact that we can comment on anything these days on the internet and do it anonymously if we want. Of course, that’s just my opinion.

You know, I totally welcome story ideas. I love when a friend or reader asks, “Would you ever consider writing about fashion for short people on a budget,” or, “I just tried this budget lipstick and it worked great if you want to check it out.” Unlike the “gentleman” I mentioned earlier, they didn’t tell me what I SHOULD do or tell me I’d do better if I followed their ideas. And I swear, I just have to laugh when I think about him, puffed up with his important advice about something he didn’t even know about. My site is 95% full of BUDGET ideas. That would be like someone asking me why I don’t do more filet mignon or lobster recipes. The only belief I feel the need to share on my site is the fact being on a budget doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice eating well, living a good life, and looking fabulous while doing so.

Anyway, do you get unwanted/unasked for comments or opinions? Do they bother you and how do you respond? Or perhaps you are the person who does freely offer unasked for advice/opinions? Do you think there’s a time and place for that and you have a good reason for doing so?

We’d love to hear what you think. And please feel free to leave a comment…cause I’m ASKING for it! (Ha!)