A Baby Shower For Your Second Child…A “Do” or “Don’t” – What Do You Think?

My girlfriend, who’s pregnant with her second child, called me the other day and said her mom wanted to throw her a baby shower. My friend though, wondered if it was “appropriate” to have another baby shower and asked me what I thought.

My own son is 24 and up until the past couple of years, I didn’t really know anyone having babies (instead we were all having grand-kids!) I thought back to the days it seemed like I was going to a shower every couple of months to see if I could remember what my friends did and was a bit surprised at my recollections. First of all, I personally think every baby deserves to be celebrated and I’d buy a gift for that second or third (or more) child, regardless if another shower was thrown. I did attend showers for a second child and usually didn’t think twice about it. I do remember a shower where the registry included items that obviously weren’t age-appropriate for the newborn but rather were more geared towards the mom’s older children and I thought that was a bit strange and not right.

The Controversy of Second baby Showers?

So anyway, I went online to some of the etiquette and mom sites and was blown away at how controversial this subject is. I actually found a site dedicated to hating on Emily Post Institute (etiquette) because they said it was ok. I read comments like, “Second showers are tacky, greedy, what’s “wrong” with this world.” Some suggested the child would grow up to be a terrible person based on the mom’s materialistic ways. Seriously. I was actually unpleasantly surprised at how heated and mean some women could be. Of course everyone has their own opinion and you can agree or disagree without being rude, judgmental or calling people names.

I read some great suggestions on throwing second baby showers, which included throwing smaller showers, which are called “sprinkles”, keeping the focus more on the child versus the gifts, registering for items more geared towards the baby versus the room, registering for smaller dollar items, etc.

My friend is a very thoughtful (and sensitive) person and she didn’t want people to think she was being greedy and thinking she wanted more “stuff.” But at the same time, she wanted pictures celebrating the upcoming birth that she could put in a baby book, which she has for her first-born.

A lot of times a second child is a different sex or there’s quite a few years difference and you’ve given your baby things away. I actually read comments that included, “You shouldn’t have a baby if you can’t afford to buy your own things and showers themselves were wrong.” And then those comments became political and heated and just downright ugly.

I told my friend (in my opinion) to let her mom throw a shower. If people want to help her celebrate they can attend and if they don’t want to, they won’t. I love my friend and will go. And I’ll find something fabulous for her baby and be happy for her and the family.

So I’m interested…what do you think?

I actually threw my friend’s first baby shower (on a budget of course!)