My husband and I went to a candlelight vigil the other night for the Sandy Hook Elementary School victims. I had never attended a vigil for someone I didn’t know, nor had I ever felt the need to do so. This time, I wanted to go, and it was actually for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, was to somehow “do something”, to be around others who were feeling the same way, to offer up support and prayers that in some way, even though the families of the victims would never know it, but perhaps they could somehow feel it? You know, I could have stayed home and prayed, but there was another, perhaps selfish, reason I felt the need to attend, and it was to hopefully help me with the anger I was feeling. Because while my initial feelings were overwhelming sadness when this senseless tragedy occurred, it was quickly turning into, quite frankly, being pissed that something like this could have and did, happen again. And this time the majority of the victims were very young and innocent children. I’m sure all of us are asking how and why?
When the Aurora Theater shooting happened, I wrote a story that talked about mental illness and the need for a better mental health care system. (We have a family member who is schizophrenic so we’ve experienced what’s available). And at THAT time, I had a feeling of sadness not only for the victims, but for the shooter himself and his family. I was empathetic and could understand (to a degree) how someone could have a total mental breakdown, a disconnect with reality, and do something like this, because of his mental illness.
This time I was mad.
We teach our young children to look before they cross the street, to not talk to strangers….In school, they have fire drills. All to protect our children. But who would have ever thought there might come a time where teachers and parents would have to have a conversation with ELEMENTARY school aged children about what to do in case a shooter comes to their school?
There will be many conversations and debates on how to “fix” this problem. Do we need stricter gun controls? Do we need a better mental health care system (I personally believe we need both)? I hope there are lots of conversations. I wish that we, as a nation could compromise and come up with ways to better prevent these tragedies.
I can’t even understand how the families are feeling, especially at this time of year. I can’t get the image of homes with Christmas trees standing, with presents already bought and waiting to be opened… that these sweet little children, and adults will never have the opportunity to do so. That at a time where most people are celebrating, spending time with family and friends….these families will be planning funerals.
In the latest edition of NAMI Advocate (National Alliance on Mental Illness) that we just received in the mail, the leading story is on how research and development for new medications treating mental illness has been suffering diminishing activity. A lot of this is because there’s more money that goes to curing physical illnesses than mental illnesses. I certainly don’t have any answers but I do think that we need to be more aware of the fact that a lot of similar tragedies have been caused by young men in their early 20’s, which just so happens to be the age when schizophrenia symptoms occur. And while I do believe that we have the right to own guns, do we really need assault weapons?
I know that all the facts are still not known, and we continually get false information from reporters in a hurry to broadcast “new” information, or misinformation on social media sites, but one fact I’d really like to know is where and how the shooter’s mom kept her guns in their home. Now I’m not saying, because we don’t know, that she didn’t have them locked away but….if you have someone in your home who has mental health issues, I think there should be laws about that. If you have a child, there are federal laws stating you must have them in car seats when riding in a vehicle. If you drive a car, you must have insurance and pass a driving test. Police officers have to pass psychological tests before being given guns….can’t we allow those who want to own guns, own them, but at the same time have laws in place that require proper storage (in your home), proper background checks, psychological tests before you could buy a gun and classes on how to be a better and more responsible gun owner?
From the bottom of my heart, I hope that somehow, some way, this horrible tragedy can unite us all in finding ways to prevent this from happening as often as it does. I realize that we can’t stop everyone from killing but if we could have better ways of preventing the frequency and the mass destruction one person can wreak…..
Our hearts go out to all the families and friends of the heroic and the innocent victims. We will continually lift you up in prayer, praying for strength, peace, and much love in the days, the weeks, the months, and the years to come. I have personally lost family members and I will say that the many cards and letters I received during those times brought much comfort to me. I didn’t read them all at one time but rather, opened one or two up when I needed to. They helped greatly.
So if you’re like me, and feel the need/want to do something….you can send cards or letters offering prayer, comfort, kindness, love, sympathy….it really does help.
If you’d like to send a note, card or letter….
Sandy Hook Elementary School
12 Dickenson Drive
Sandy Hook, CT 06482
In Memory….
- Charlotte Bacon, 6
- Daniel Barden, 7
- Rachel Davino, 29
- Olivia Engel, 6
- Josephine Gay, 7
- Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
- Dylan Hockley, 6
- Dawn Hocksprung, 47
- Madeline Hsu, 6
- Catherine Hubbard, 6
- Chase Kowalski, 7
- Nancy Lanza, 52
- Jesse Lewis, 6
- James Mattioli, 6
- Grace McDonnell, 7
- Ann Marie Murphy, 52
- Emilie Parker, 6
- Jack Pinto, 6
- Noah Pozner, 6
- Caroline Previdi, 6
- Jessica Rekos, 6
- Avielle Richman, 6
- Lauren Rousseau, 30
- Mary Sherlach, 56
- Victoria Soto, 27
- Benjamin Wheeler, 6
- Allison Wyatt, 6